Dr. Appointment

Well we had an appointment yesterday and we were really hoping to find out the gender. Well we didn't. The little shits legs were too close together to tell.

The ultra sound tech said that we were measuring weirdly and that I still had the bleed. She took our ultrasounds to a doctor for more info. After we waiting 2 hours!!!!! the Dr. came in and first thing he says is "the Placenta looks weird." oh ok... He said the baby is measuring smaller than he would like, but not by much. My placenta looks weird and it's not working as well as it should they said it could be due to the bleed and separation I had earlier but we just have to watch it for now. They checked the blood flow to the baby and that was good. Also the heartbeat was good. Right now there isn't a whole lot they can do. We just have to hope and pray that we go full term or at least as close as possible to where the baby can survive outside of me. He mentioned that there was still a chance that if the placenta doesn't work right, I could lose the baby. That's devastating at this point to even hear that, let alone think about it. Taylor asked with these troubles we are having what the odds were of it happening again. The Dr. said its like getting hit by lightening. VERY rare that it would happen again.

So for now I just sit and hope that all goes well. Now every little pain I feel makes me panic. I don't like living in fear... but if it keeps my baby with me I will fear each second.

Stuff shopping

So I had been looking here and there at cribs but nothing to extensive. I knew I wanted one of these convertible ones that goes to a toddler bed then a twin/full size bed. I was looking at places online that I could go and look at them in person. USA Baby, Burlington Coat Factory, and Target. I found a few i thought could be cute so I saved the pics so I knew what to look for. Last stop, Target's website. Scrolling and scrolling nothing was really standing out. There was one that was cute so i clicked to get more info. i was skimming through the pics and one shot they had of it I knew it had to be mine! It was a combination of the color of the wood, and the styles for the changes that it offered. Some of the other cribs when they turned into an adult bed looked ridiculous! This one was amazing!!!!! I sent the pic to Taylor and wrote "please say you like this." His response, "yeah it's cute." ok fine he doesn't care. :) So I start looking as to when I can order this, the baby stuff was all on sale so I was seeing if we needed to order it or could go pick it up. Sale ends that night. Taylor got home and I asked if I could please order it since the sale was going to end. He was fine with that so I ordered the crib and mattress :) I can't wait for it to get here!!!!
Sunday morning we went to Taylor's sister's (Nicole) house for breakfast. I HATE bacon. If I hate it then why when they started cooking it did it smell sooo amazing??? argh... I ate at least 5 pieces. She also made Strawberry pancakes. She got the recipe from Rachel Ray's app. They were soooo good! I wouldn't have ever thought about putting strawberries IN pancakes. YUM! Thanks Nicole! they were delicious!!!

I did it!

I took the leap and got married! We had a great weekend in Vegas! My feet hurt so bad from walking around all day so I was in bed by about 7 each night. Taylor got to go play without me bugging him which I think he appreciated. It also gave him time to hang out with my brothers. Its so weird and nice to see how close they've gotten in this short time. They've completely accepted him and seem to really enjoy him being around.
Saturday was the ceremony and I was up at about 7 AM :( so I started off with a Caramel Frappacino from Starbucks. I was struggling big time walking past it all the time and not getting any coffee. So i checked online, since I have been limiting my caffeine intake, and If I had a frap that was about all the caffeine I could allow myself. It was soooo worth it!!! I never realized how much I absolutely love coffee until I can't have it. It helped me make it through the day for sure. I got my hair, makeup and a pedicure done at the hotel's salon. I loved it all. I looked at the bill they sent to the chapel and it was $275!!!! I loved it but there was no way on my own I would have paid that!!! The ceremony was great! I was so nervous and anxious that I barely smiled in the video... As I was walking down the aisle I looked at Taylor and he had started tearing up. I looked and it him and said "don't." If he was tearing up I was gonna end up bawling!!! We took a ton of pictures after. I then went and passed out in the room from exhaustion. Taylor went out to play with my brothers and my dad. I liked that he felt comfortable to go do that.

I made it!!!

Oh finally!!! Second trimester!!! I welcome you with open arms! please welcome me back with the following: Please allow me to sleep, I'm only asking for a few hours of good sleep, less nausea, the constant having to pee feeling can lessen now, can my boobs please stop growing??? and can the pain stop?

I hope that the second trimester goes a hell of a lot easier than the first.

oh did I happen to mention that I'm getting married on Saturday??? oh just a little detail I may have missed :) I'm really hoping things go well while we are there. I've been in the ER or to the doctors once a week since my first incident and now being far away from home makes me worry. I've got my fingers crossed that everything will be fine. :) Other than that I'm extremely excited for this change in my life!

ER, again

I'm getting really sick of the ER. :(
I woke up not feeling to great yesterday. Had some pains in my lower pelvic area. I thought maybe it was the clot trying to pass? maybe since I went to dinner and a movie with my dad and actually wore jeans (I've been in pajama pants for over a week) that maybe they rubbed or put pressure on that area making it sore? I had no idea.
Taylor and I took Dean to get cleaned in the morning and I was feeling icky but ok. As we were leaving with him it was bad enough for me to say ER time. The pain was so intense I was almost in tears at times, which is bad... I have a very high tolerance for pain.
While in the ER they gave me Zofran which I'm not sure why when I told them I had taken one maybe 4 hours prior??? Ultrasound went well. Baby was flipping and moving around. They didn't have my previous ultrasound to compare to but from what I had seen and could see while they were checking was that the hemorrhage was bigger. We still have an appointment with a high risk Dr on Tuesday so I'm hoping he'll be able to look at my stuff then and tell us what's really going on.
They gave me some Lortabs and sent us home. I don't do prescription pain pills unless absolutely necessary. OH it was necessary! The pain was so bad! About 9 last night it was so intense I made Taylor run to the 24 hour pharmacy to get the prescription filled.

Why is my pregnancy going to difficulty?? I'm so worn out... all the time... I can't go anywhere or do anything...

I finally broke down crying the other night to Taylor. He had just gotten home and was heading out 15 min later to his bach party. I got so frustrated that he could just leave and I was stranded :( I know it's not his fault that I'm stuck... well... not entirely :) But I was just so bored and alone that I cried.
You think, oh bed rest would be nice! i need a Dr. to tell me to stay home and in bed! NO you don't! you want something until you HAVE to do it. It sucks!!!

BUT if this is what I need to do to keep my baby safe and healthy... damn it... I'll do it.

Dr. appointment

Well the Dr. said everything looks good! I had a bleed that has turned into a clot that is still sitting above my uterus. I may still bleed but unless it's red I'm ok. If I get more red it'll be back to the ER for me. Baby is strong and doing really well he said. We got a bunch of pics which is nice. it's nice to see updated pics :) It's so crazy to see how big the baby is getting! I'm on partial bed rest until Monday. The Dr. said I can do things around the house but not to go out shopping or anything...

bed rest... bah!

Well Friday afternoon i was standing at work and had a strange sensation that i had started my period... weird. I went to the bathroom to find a lot of blood. i freaked and ran out to my boss and told him I was bleeding and had to leave! I had a few coworker friends that saw me starting to cry and rushed over to see what was going on. I told them I was bleeding and didn't know why. I threw one my phone and had her call Taylor to come get me. We were in the elevator going down and I got the rush again. I went to the bathroom while they went outside to wait for Taylor. I was hysterical when he got there. My friends told Taylor to DRIVE! and he did. We got to the ER and got checked in. It seemed like it took forever for a Nurse or Dr. to get there. Once the nurse came in they took some blood and started and IV of fluids. They had to get some urine without blood so I got a catheter as well... ugh. Then the nurse did a Doppler heart beat thing to see if we could get a heart beat. She warned us that there have been many times that she wasn't able to get a heart beat with the Doppler so not to panic. Well the second she put it on me we got the heart beat. Taylor and I started bawling. Expecting the complete worse it was such a relief to hear the heart beat. She warned us again that this didn't mean everything was ok. We understood but were just so happy to hear the heart nothing else mattered. Then they wheel chaired me to get the ultrasound. Everything with the baby looked ok. Little was swimming and had gotten a lot bigger then we had last seen! it was crazy how much more developed it was. The nurse did a bunch of clicking and typing on the computer then we were wheeled back to our room and waited for the Dr. He came in and informed us that the baby was ok. That i had a subchorianic hemorrhage. This means the placenta had separated slightly from the uterine wall and caused the bleeding. I had a chance that I could carry full term and not have anymore problems or I could miscarry. I was placed on bed rest until I see my Dr. and told to only get up to go to the bathroom or to eat. Taylor seems to have forgotten the eating part... he won't let me out of bed for anything! So here I sit on Monday, bored out of my mind. You think before being placed on bed rest that being told to stay in bed would be great! not when you're forced to stay there... not so much fun. I have an appointment Tomorrow with my Dr. and then next Tuesday with a high risk doctor. For now we hope and pray that everything is ok and we will carry full term without any problems.

I have some amazing friends who truly care about me. I've had an overwhelming amount of texts each day making sure we are ok. Brooke came and babysat me on Saturday, bringing some Cherry Garcia while Taylor ran an errand. Jaime came and babysat me as well on Sunday also bringing Cherry Garcia! I could NEVER have too much Cherry Garcia in my freezer. Just the fact of opening the freezer (when Taylor would let me get up) and seeing 2 in there made me so happy! :) It was so nice to have some company for a little bit. Taylor's mom, Ann and sister, Jessica brought us dinner last night. These 2 should have a cooking show. Their food is so good! Thank you all ladies for making this a little easier!!!