Moving day.

Not moving for me but for the girls. They are in the process of packing their stuff as I type this. Even as they are moving the plot thickens. They have some friend here. Some guy. I was sitting here on the computer and overheard a conversation of them wanting to go out to smoke. Not a big deal. Then I hear this kid go "just light up in here." Thank god the girls are smart enough to say "oh, in the house?! yeah that's not a good idea." The kid spouts off with "if someone pissed me off I'd piss them off." I'm sorry how did my mother piss you off??? by letting you live in the house for three months rent free??!!! By not saying a word to you and letting you have pretty much your way with the house?! Are you kidding me! I'm so mad right now. If I hear one more smart ass remark from anyone I'm gonna snap. Not an easy thing for me to do.

UGH!

Pictures

Well I had my mom order me some pictures that I saw in a catalog of hers. The moment I saw them I knew I had to have them. Well they finally came today. They are even better than in the pictures! I don't know what it is about them that made me need them so badly... They are just beautiful.

Family War

I feel like there is quite literally a war beginning in my family. It's the boys against the girls. We're out numbered 2 to 4. First this thing with my oldest little brother. Then my dad choosing My brother's and the girls in the basements side. (I don't know if he actually has. It's just how I feel from our "conversations.") Then I put a pic of my dad up on my myspace from who knows how many years ago from his mission. He's standing with Marie Osmond. I thought it was great. I get a message from my youngest brother saying "Take the family pics off of your pictures. We don't need every asshole on the internet seeing a picture of dad with a name tag Elder D. B_______." (I erased the rest of MY last name so if they happen across this I can avoid further reprimanding.) Ok if my dad doesn't want the picture up then that's fine. I would have erased it. But getting a rude email from my 15 year old brother doesn't make me feel like doing anything. So to appease the masses I just made that section of my picture visible to friends only. Hopefully I'm not friends with "every asshole on the internet."

How am I supposed to fight a war when the playing ground isn't fair? I don't want to fight a war. I just feel it's inevitable. I guess the only good thing we have going is that I'm not afraid to speak my mind. My Mom has a harder time with that. She doesn't like to say things impulsively that will make things worse. She likes to think of the situation and then respond. I just fly off the handle. Much like my father and youngest brother.

Problem is my youngest brother is so manipulative in things he says to my dad. He can say anything true or not, usually not, and have my dad believing it. Usually things about me. "Whitney's done drugs..." I've heard that one before. Never have and NEVER will. But do you think my dad believes that? Hell no... I've been so in and out of every one's life that they don't even know me. Did they know where I lived half of the time I wasn't home? No. Did they know that I had a roommate crazier than a shit house rat? No. Did they know I was an alcoholic for a year? No. Did they know I was in the worst abusive relationship ever for almost a year? No. They don't know and more importantly, they don't care. I could sit down and try to talk to anyone in my family and it will always turn against me.

I'm the oldest I'm supposed to be an example. EXAMPLE?! To what? 3 boys? how is that supposed to work? The rules seem to have changed so much for each kid. How is that supposed to be fair? I know times change and things need to be tweaked but have a little bit of consistency. Some rules would be a good idea. They have none. I had bad grades=grounded for life. They get bad grades=no one gives a shit.

I'm done fighting. I think that might be the best thing now. I'm done. Here's my white flag waving. Leave me out of this. I need to get out of here. Get away from everything. Start over somewhere new. Leave my "family" behind.

Hoodies & glasses

Ok I live in hoodies! I love these things...

Well I recently ordered some new ones and I got them in the mail yesterday! So excited!

Julie had questioned my hoodies so I figured it best to just put it up here :)

So here they are! I love things that have logos or decals in weird/not usual places. So the one has the number 15 on the hood. I saw that and had to have it! The other one is just too cute and since I had gone and seen the show but didn't get it while I was there I figured why not get it now??? :)

Enjoy!

And I went to get new glasses today.. they will be ready in 7-10 days. Hopefully sooner! I found the cutest frames and I can't wait to get them. I haven't had a new prescription in 3 years so I can only imagine how much it's changed. The ones I have are blue on the outside and green inside. I always love different glasses. Here's the frames I picked out.

These ones are black on the outside and clear inside.

And these ones are a purpley-ish color... so cute! I didn't think that the cat eye style would look good on me but, I tried em on and loved em!

How did my life come to this?

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've ever had! My mother and brother got in an argument about him and his friends living at her house. She's sick of them living in the basement rent free. Not only rent free but they are disrespectful in every way. They have two dogs that run around the backyard ripping stuff up. They never feed them. I feed them. They come inside the house and tear things apart in here too. Who ends up cleaning up that mess??? not the girls... You'd think that if you were living rent free in some one's home you would go out of your way to make it known that you appreciate that. Do the dishes, clean the house, do some yard work.. at least clean up after yourself and your pets! But no... they don't...

Well it came to what we thought was an end yesterday. Mom and Mike are yelling... I'm in my room with the door shut, listening. I didn't want to get in the middle of it. Then BOOM! my door gets kicked in. What the hell?!?!?! Now I'm pissed and scared... I text my cousin to call the cops. I didn't have phone service or I would have called myself. I also couldn't get outside thanks to my brother standing in the hallway blocking that path. I'd never seen him pissed like this before. I didn't know what he was going to do...

Finally he goes to his room. I B line it for outside. I call Toni to see if she has called the cops yet... She had. About 5 minutes later they show up. The first cops approaches me.. Crap... I know him... well of him... he's a friend from Jr. High and High School's brother... He asks what is going on.. I start to tell him.. he then walks past me and inside. I follow and call my mom downstairs. We each take our turns talking to the cops and telling our story. The whole time I'm bawling.. My mom's bawling and Mike's just pissed. Mean while the girls are downstairs doing god only knows. The cops then talk to them I'm not sure exactly what was said but I know the jist of it was you're not welcome here anymore.

They give Mike an arrest citation and ask him to leave to cool off. The girls leave through the garage before he does. The cops continue to talk to me and my mom. Then the cop I "knew" says "remember Matt Madsen?" "uh... yeah. why?" I respond. "oh that was just him on the air... he said to tell you hi." Wow.. now I feel dumb... My friend Matt now knows about what's going on... I knew he was with WVCPD I should have known... I decided to text him and say hi back... He said he would have come inside be had to go to another call. Thank god for that. I could only imagine what I looked like. :(

After all is said and done we sat and cried... Thinking what happened??!! I now had the worst migraine EVER!

I ended up throwing up a couple of times from the pain so I decided I needed to lay down.

Mike came home to get stuff... didn't say anything to us and left.

You'd think that after all this if you were "the girls" you would a. not come back for a while. b. come back get stuff and leave again. or c. come in and be like a ghost. not seen or heard. Well they did nothing of the sort. This is where I throw in that I work at 2 am Mon-Fri. and I'm up around 1-1:30 am. Well this morning I get woken up at 1 by the girls coming in the garage. I'm thinking "you have got to be kidding me!!!!" I then get up around 1:20 to get ready. I can hear them while I'm upstairs laughing and talking like nothing happened! I walked in my mom's room to see if she was up... yeah she was. I said "do you hear that?!" She looked and me and goes "yeah... I can't even believe it." I was so pissed! I wanted to walk down there and scream! "HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT!" sorry for the cursing but when I'm pissed I can't control it. nothing says it better than the F word. By the time I left for work the lights were off and it was quiet. no reason to cause a problem now.

Here I am now... on the computer looking at my Myspace. I happen across one of the girls pages and take a look at some pics... WHAT IS THIS!? I find a pic of one of them in MY SHIRT!!! not only that but the other one leaves a comment saying "Whitney's." So they clearly know it's not theirs!!!!!!!!!! WHO DOES THIS!? I want to write on her page and be like are you kidding me?! Here's the pic. I saved it just in case they decided to erase it I'll have it... EWWWWWWW! Well now the story is done. What happened to my life... how did it come to this?

ACBC

I was looking through some pics and I began to feel bad that I had really only mentioned the ACBC girls once in my blog. I know I only have like 9 entries but 9 too many for them not to be in it more.

ACBC is a group of 8 girls. We're best friends. We have ups and we have downs but when I need a friend I can always count on one of them to help me. I love them. They have helped shape who I am today.

Who are they? Well there's Brooke Patterson, Brittany Walker, Age (Adriane) Carol, Bekah Schuler, Sonya Reid, Kandyce Gabrielson, Jackie Jensen and myself. We live from Sandy, Draper, West Jordan, West Valley, Ogden, Chicago and for the moment all the way to China.

Some of these girls have been friend since they were preteens. They opened their hearts and the group to the rest of us.

I love you ladies!

Sonya

Kandyce Age

Bekah

Brit

Brooke

Jackie

Saturday Girls Night

First things first! Wonderful night!

My beautiful friend Jaime text me, on I believe it was Tuesday, letting me know she wanted to have a girls night. Her husband was going to be out of town and she wouldn't have the kids. I didn't have anything planned yet so I said I'd set it aside.














I have to admit.. I was a little worried that it might be awkward. I hadn't really hung out with these girls in a long time! Worry forever gone! I want to have another girl's night soon!

We started the night by meeting at Jaime's house at 6 pm. We headed to dinner at Chili's. While we were there we were able to catch up a little about people from school we haven't seen. We were taking pictures of the group which included: Myself, Jaime, Marissa, Emi, Annie, and Brandy. While the waitress took a picture a cowboy from another table decided he needed his pic taken too. Jaime gladly took his pic. She let him know she was going to title it "8 seconds." Too funny! *for those of you that don't know a bull ride qualifying time is 8 seconds :)* He then joined in on a group pic. Strange man. Dinner was awesome! I will never forget Jaime and her tambourine of chips. :)
After dinner we headed back to Jaime's do decided what to do next. We agreed on Bowling but first we needed snacks!

We head to Walmart to get some candy and what not. While in the candy aisle I think we got a bag of each candy. Candy every where! We were then walking near some camping gear and Jaime spotted one of those hunting fur hat things and decided it needed to be tried on. Then I spotted a hunting jumpsuit. I said you have to put that thing on. So she did. I laughed so hard! She was posing for pics and everything. All the while in my mind I was thinking "why did I have doubts about tonight? These girls are so much fun!" Then Marissa needed some slippers so we went on the search. We found the cutest boot slippers ever! we each got a pair and wore them to the bowling alley. As we were headed to the checkout lines Jaime was getting ready to take a pic of Emi and Annie who were looking at blanket stuff down an aisle. This other girl came out of an aisle and apologized for getting in the way of the pic. Jaime said "oh it's ok I don't even know them..." Again I laughed hysterically. If you know me then I'll just say I hiccuped for at least 20 minutes. lol

We made our way to the bowling alley and had a blast, again! Dancing and bowling upside down or backwards. and a bunch of yelling... it was pretty loud in there so you couldn't talk... you had to yell. We were getting ready to go and Emi's friend Megan showed up. We were standing near the doors and again Jaime made me laugh so hard. She would follow people out the doors or welcome them as they came in. Hiccups returned.

Back to Jaime's house we go. By this time I was starting to fade. I was exhausted but, having so much fun I didn't want to go. The girls played a game while I watched. We were able to do some more catching up and have some good laughs. Then it was almost 1 am and definitely time for bed. Marissa and I said our goodbyes and headed for the door into the snowy crap outside.

Thank you to Jaime and the rest of the girls that made this an awesome night! Let's do it again soon!

Migraines

Why? Why do I have to get these terrible migraines where all I want to do is curl up and die? My head is screaming to the point of me throwing up. Why can't the doctors figure out why I get these?

I've gotten to the point where I just try to stick them out... but my hell! this hurts!

I can't sleep because of the pain... well also because my brother is thumping his music in the next room. Damn Techno... doesn't help!!!

Ugh... I'm gonna retire to my room and hope for sleep... or death... anything to relieve this pain!