I made it!!!

Oh finally!!! Second trimester!!! I welcome you with open arms! please welcome me back with the following: Please allow me to sleep, I'm only asking for a few hours of good sleep, less nausea, the constant having to pee feeling can lessen now, can my boobs please stop growing??? and can the pain stop?

I hope that the second trimester goes a hell of a lot easier than the first.

oh did I happen to mention that I'm getting married on Saturday??? oh just a little detail I may have missed :) I'm really hoping things go well while we are there. I've been in the ER or to the doctors once a week since my first incident and now being far away from home makes me worry. I've got my fingers crossed that everything will be fine. :) Other than that I'm extremely excited for this change in my life!

ER, again

I'm getting really sick of the ER. :(
I woke up not feeling to great yesterday. Had some pains in my lower pelvic area. I thought maybe it was the clot trying to pass? maybe since I went to dinner and a movie with my dad and actually wore jeans (I've been in pajama pants for over a week) that maybe they rubbed or put pressure on that area making it sore? I had no idea.
Taylor and I took Dean to get cleaned in the morning and I was feeling icky but ok. As we were leaving with him it was bad enough for me to say ER time. The pain was so intense I was almost in tears at times, which is bad... I have a very high tolerance for pain.
While in the ER they gave me Zofran which I'm not sure why when I told them I had taken one maybe 4 hours prior??? Ultrasound went well. Baby was flipping and moving around. They didn't have my previous ultrasound to compare to but from what I had seen and could see while they were checking was that the hemorrhage was bigger. We still have an appointment with a high risk Dr on Tuesday so I'm hoping he'll be able to look at my stuff then and tell us what's really going on.
They gave me some Lortabs and sent us home. I don't do prescription pain pills unless absolutely necessary. OH it was necessary! The pain was so bad! About 9 last night it was so intense I made Taylor run to the 24 hour pharmacy to get the prescription filled.

Why is my pregnancy going to difficulty?? I'm so worn out... all the time... I can't go anywhere or do anything...

I finally broke down crying the other night to Taylor. He had just gotten home and was heading out 15 min later to his bach party. I got so frustrated that he could just leave and I was stranded :( I know it's not his fault that I'm stuck... well... not entirely :) But I was just so bored and alone that I cried.
You think, oh bed rest would be nice! i need a Dr. to tell me to stay home and in bed! NO you don't! you want something until you HAVE to do it. It sucks!!!

BUT if this is what I need to do to keep my baby safe and healthy... damn it... I'll do it.

Dr. appointment

Well the Dr. said everything looks good! I had a bleed that has turned into a clot that is still sitting above my uterus. I may still bleed but unless it's red I'm ok. If I get more red it'll be back to the ER for me. Baby is strong and doing really well he said. We got a bunch of pics which is nice. it's nice to see updated pics :) It's so crazy to see how big the baby is getting! I'm on partial bed rest until Monday. The Dr. said I can do things around the house but not to go out shopping or anything...

bed rest... bah!

Well Friday afternoon i was standing at work and had a strange sensation that i had started my period... weird. I went to the bathroom to find a lot of blood. i freaked and ran out to my boss and told him I was bleeding and had to leave! I had a few coworker friends that saw me starting to cry and rushed over to see what was going on. I told them I was bleeding and didn't know why. I threw one my phone and had her call Taylor to come get me. We were in the elevator going down and I got the rush again. I went to the bathroom while they went outside to wait for Taylor. I was hysterical when he got there. My friends told Taylor to DRIVE! and he did. We got to the ER and got checked in. It seemed like it took forever for a Nurse or Dr. to get there. Once the nurse came in they took some blood and started and IV of fluids. They had to get some urine without blood so I got a catheter as well... ugh. Then the nurse did a Doppler heart beat thing to see if we could get a heart beat. She warned us that there have been many times that she wasn't able to get a heart beat with the Doppler so not to panic. Well the second she put it on me we got the heart beat. Taylor and I started bawling. Expecting the complete worse it was such a relief to hear the heart beat. She warned us again that this didn't mean everything was ok. We understood but were just so happy to hear the heart nothing else mattered. Then they wheel chaired me to get the ultrasound. Everything with the baby looked ok. Little was swimming and had gotten a lot bigger then we had last seen! it was crazy how much more developed it was. The nurse did a bunch of clicking and typing on the computer then we were wheeled back to our room and waited for the Dr. He came in and informed us that the baby was ok. That i had a subchorianic hemorrhage. This means the placenta had separated slightly from the uterine wall and caused the bleeding. I had a chance that I could carry full term and not have anymore problems or I could miscarry. I was placed on bed rest until I see my Dr. and told to only get up to go to the bathroom or to eat. Taylor seems to have forgotten the eating part... he won't let me out of bed for anything! So here I sit on Monday, bored out of my mind. You think before being placed on bed rest that being told to stay in bed would be great! not when you're forced to stay there... not so much fun. I have an appointment Tomorrow with my Dr. and then next Tuesday with a high risk doctor. For now we hope and pray that everything is ok and we will carry full term without any problems.

I have some amazing friends who truly care about me. I've had an overwhelming amount of texts each day making sure we are ok. Brooke came and babysat me on Saturday, bringing some Cherry Garcia while Taylor ran an errand. Jaime came and babysat me as well on Sunday also bringing Cherry Garcia! I could NEVER have too much Cherry Garcia in my freezer. Just the fact of opening the freezer (when Taylor would let me get up) and seeing 2 in there made me so happy! :) It was so nice to have some company for a little bit. Taylor's mom, Ann and sister, Jessica brought us dinner last night. These 2 should have a cooking show. Their food is so good! Thank you all ladies for making this a little easier!!!

fear

I've been hearing and reading a lot about miscarriage. Once I start reading I can't stop... It makes me so sad that people are going through this. I read one where everything was fine at their appointments and then on their next appointment no heartbeat. This makes me terrified that it could happen to me. My next appointment isn't until the 17th and I'm counting down the days and minutes... I need to just hear my little's heart again to know it's ok. I sure hope I'm just scaring myself and everything is ok. I just can't help my mind wandering. :(

I'm so excited to hear what all my friends that are pregnant are having! Torrie finds out today :)

I did a little test called Intelligender. It's like an at home gender test. I thought it'd be fun just to take the test then see if when the doctor tells us if it was right. So for the test's sake we are having a boy!!! Time will tell :)