Tears

How does a tear express how you feel? I've had happy tears... lots of those in the past. Now-a-days they seem to be sad... hurting... painful tears. How does crying seem to ease the pain? Sometimes I feel better after crying. Other times I wish the world would just stop turning.

I try not to let things get me down.. but I can't always be optimistic. I can't put on a happy face and fake it all the time. I've been through a lot. I feel entitled to be dreary, depressed, a real stick in the mud every once in a while.

I need something to pull me out of this funk. I just won't allow anyone to try and help. I appreciate the offers and attempts. Thank you Lane, Jaime and Brad for trying.

Courtside with the Jazz

OK so! Jaime and I were fortunate enough to attend the Jazz game the other night. I love the Suns so I pretty much begged my dad for tickets. He works for Huntsman Sr. and when he's out of town there is a chance that I get to go. This being one of the nights.

So Jaime and I got the suite tickets. I was hoping that we'd get to go down to the floor but thought it unlikely since my dad wasn't going to be there. I have been court side now three times. AMAZING!

So when we first get there Jaime and I are eating and then the hostess for the evening informs me that we can use the floor tickets for the first quarter. Jaime and I freak! We nearly run to the floor. :) We get there and the view is amazing! We start taking pics during the warm up like you wouldn't believe!

Just after the game starts this guy comes and sits one person away from us. Some weirdos behind us are yelling "GO UTES!!" We glance at him and Jaime's like "how do I know him!!!??? he looks so familiar." I said well the guys behind us were yelling for the Utes... She jumps. "That's Brian Johnson! he's the Quarter Back for the Utes! Holy crap!" She wanted a pic with him so badly! I said just wait till time out or something... OH! and before this during warm up Jaime had to throw the ball back to Matt Harpring... Yes he looked right at her about 10 feet away and motioned for the ball. lol

So time out is called.. Jaime leans over and says something to the fact of I love you... you're awesome.. can I get a pic with you? He was so nice! he welcomed her closer... closer being almost his lap! she chucks the camera to me and I snap the pic! SO cute!

First quarter over we take off for the suite. We enjoy watching the game and chatting and of course taking more pics :) Half time we wander off to the first floor where the locker room is. I use to work at the Energy Solutions Arena/ Delta Center so I knew where I was going :)

We stopped next to the locker room so Jaime could see some of the players... I got to catch up with some old friends... Doug Birrell -Team Massage Therapist, Mark Mckown -Assistant Coach, Brian Zettler - Trainer. Awesome guys!

The game was over far too soon! we took some more fun pics before leaving the suite. Then we went back down to the first floor. I wanted to say hi to my friend... the Jazz Bear. We were waiting near control (security) and I knew the players would be coming out soon... I really REALLY wanted to see Nash. I love this guy!!! So I was talking to my friend Brad in control when Jaime yells "Whit! here he is!" I snap around and see him walking down the hall. I was just gonna take a pic of him as he walked by but Jaime did so much better! She jumps in front of him and says "My friend Whitney here is your biggest fan of all your fans! Can she get a picture with you?" I didn't know what to do! I stood there... in shock for 2.3 seconds. Then he said "of course." he puts his arm around me and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I said "Hi. I'm Whitney." at least I think that's what I said. lol

Then we are walking back towards the locker room and Jaime is having tons of fun snapping pics of the players as they casual walk passed us. Then she spies Korver coming our way. She asks him if he'll take a pic with her and of course he agrees... I took the adorable pic!

Can I just put in here now how much I adore Jaime! I have so much fun hanging out with her! She's so outgoing and fun! I just wish that we would have been friends in High School! I can only imagine the mischief we would have gotten in to :) Love ya Babe!

By this time the security people aren't happy with us taking so many pics and what not so we are asked to leave LOL

We head for home from such a fun night! I knew I had to be to work so early the next morning but I didn't want the night to end...

After all the stress and sadness from the previous few weeks this was just what I needed.

Thank you Jaime!

just a sneak peak

I'm running to pick up my car *fingers crossed it's fixed* But I had to leave a little teaser as to what's to come... Last night I had a wonderful night with Jaime... Just what I needed :)

Here's just a little of what happened!

Diet

This heart ache thing might just be the greatest diet I've ever been on... Would I trade the diet for my heart being whole again? In a heart beat... no pun intended.

What little I can stand to eat doesn't stay down for long...
I feel so... what's the word??? Broken, lost, misplaced...

I suppose time heals all wounds... and time is always relative :)

Ouch

Have you ever had someone tell you something... something you knew was coming... you expected it to happen... you just didn't know when... and deep inside you hoped it would never happen?

Mine happened.

It would have broken my heart if it weren't already shattered from the first impact. Ouch.

How can you lose something twice? You lose it... after many years of searching and hoping, you happen to come across it one day... you think... no, you KNOW it's the greatest thing ever! you're so happy to have it back! Then... just like before... it's gone.

I ripped my heart out to give to you... I don't want it back. It's yours... forever. Please be kind with it. The one thing in the world I wish I could keep forever. Isn't mine to keep...

I love you. Always.

been too long

Hmmm... lets see... A bunch has happened lately... but nothing that is very life changing.

I went to Frightmares with some friends one weekend. Went on a car scavenger hunt that same weekend. Worked a lot. Didn't go to work because I slept passed my alarm. Oops. Went to the Jazz game with Douche AKA Cole. Said hi to old friends at the DC AKA ESA. Missed someone more than I thought possible. Bought and installed a new showerhead. Fell in love with a song. Cried. Laughed. Threw up. Hung out with Lanito. Bought some new books. Bought my tickets for Twilight! Bought new coats. Had a visit from Nate Stott. Got my nails done. Watched some new movies. Forgotten. Cut my hair. Dyed my hair... er... rather bleached my hair. Reality set in. Took a 5 year old to build a bear. Went to Xela's happy birthday/ Baby Gia's 3 week birthday. Sang Hannah Montana's Best of Both Worlds with "George" for at least 20 minutes. Bought fake cockAroaches. Text my cousin quite a bit. Got some good phone calls. My brother stayed at home. :) Looked in to getting a pup. And I slept, but as usual, not nearly enough.

There you have it folks... a whole lot of nothing. :) it's what makes me... me!