fear

I've been hearing and reading a lot about miscarriage. Once I start reading I can't stop... It makes me so sad that people are going through this. I read one where everything was fine at their appointments and then on their next appointment no heartbeat. This makes me terrified that it could happen to me. My next appointment isn't until the 17th and I'm counting down the days and minutes... I need to just hear my little's heart again to know it's ok. I sure hope I'm just scaring myself and everything is ok. I just can't help my mind wandering. :(

I'm so excited to hear what all my friends that are pregnant are having! Torrie finds out today :)

I did a little test called Intelligender. It's like an at home gender test. I thought it'd be fun just to take the test then see if when the doctor tells us if it was right. So for the test's sake we are having a boy!!! Time will tell :)

9 weeks

I'm 9 weeks today. CRAZY!

I can't tell if I'm making a baby or if a baby is trying to kill me. I've never been so sick. I'm nauseated all the time... I have to eat constantly or it gets worse. This couch has permanent imprint of my butt in it. I'm afraid I may loose my job since I've been out so much. I've tried going some days and I get so sick it's not worth me being there. I don't know what to do. I have one pair of pants that fit me, they are getting tight and yet my maternity pants are too big still.

I can't wait for my first appointment next week! I can't believe I'm going to a doctor to hear a heartbeat... WOW! I'm so excited for this little one to get here and it's just barely begun.

I sleep on average about 8 hours a night. then 1 to 2 more in the afternoon. When I think about it that way I think I sleep a lot.. but then I think about waking up every 15 mins because I can't get comfortable or it's too hot... then it comes down to maybe 4-5 hours total. :(

My friend Brookie and I are a week apart. I love that we get to go through this together :) We haven't been as close as we once were and I'm hoping this might bring us closer again.

I wish I could find out sooner what I was having. I have people wanting to make blankets and such and they want color choices... I don't know! I really wish I did.

Well there's my random thoughts at this moments. Now back to watching the Food Network that helps feed my cravings :)

craving #2

Ok so I wake up and what do I want to eat? Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich... but not just and ordinary PBJ. It has to be on the Grandma Sycamore white bread with Adam's natural extra crunchy peanut butter with Pineapple Apricot jam. It's amazingly delicious! and I want it all the time.. If this is how my cravings are going to be and it's already started this is going to get interesting. I need to quit watching the food network too. Everything I see looks SOOOOO good! then it gets in my mind and I have to have it... Damn you Paula Deen, Bobby Flay, Michael Symon, Giada De laurentiis, and The Neely's. Your food looks too good!!!!!

cravings...

Weird craving #1- Bacon. I hate Bacon... never ever liked bacon... I saw a Wendy's commercial for some bacon cheeseburger and nearly started drooling... It looked sooo good!!

Other than that I haven't noticed anything else weird.

I was so sick yesterday. I went to see Eclipse with my friend LeAnn and thought I was going to puke on everyone in the theatre. Even in my sicken nauseated state the movie was amazing. I only had to close my eyes for maybe 3 minutes to calm my stomach.

it's out!

Well my father knows and is surprisingly very excited! makes my life easier :)

the reason

Well I decide to go private because I felt if someone wanted to be added to the list they would actually care and respect my feelings and wishes.

Well Taylor and I found out officially last Friday that we are expecting! I am sooooo excited!!!
I've told my mom and some friends. Taylor has told his family and some friends. I hesitate in telling my father. If you've read my other posts you'll understand why... Pretty much he expects way too much from me being his oldest and only daughter. I'll tell him one day.

For the time being I ask that if you read this please do not post anything on Facebook. At least until I break the news to him lol On here is fine since he doesn't have access.

So there ya go!!! Baby on the way!!!

GOING PRIVATE!!!

If you wanna be a part of my "secret life" send me an email and I'll add you! mermaidhigh@gmail.com

I'll be going private tomorrow! :)