how do you love a bug? by kissing her silly, of course!

7 weeks

I've been slacking. I've just been enjoying being a mommy that I didn't have the time to sit and put into words how much I love this little girl!

She makes everyday amazing!

I've been co-sleeping with her, Dean and Taylor are on the couch. Dean needs to learn not to get on the bed anymore so this has been the best solution for now. I love falling asleep nuzzling her

neck and love even more waking up to her nuzzling mine. She is the sweetest baby, when she's in a good mood. She's had a rough few days here and there but I think she's going through a growth spurt. She was so upset the other night, she had soaked the neck of her jammies from

eating so I had stripped her down and just laid her on my chest to keep warm. She snuggled right up to me and fell asleep. We cuddled all night :) I mainly didn't want to wake her to get her dressed. After she calms down from being upset she nuzzles her face into mine and just stares into my eyes. It's like she's saying thank you for making everything ok. It gets so rough sometimes, I just wish I knew what was wrong to make it right.

She giggled out loud the other night. She was again sound asleep on me and she usually does a

silent laugh but this one was the sweetest thing I've ever heard!!! I cried. Every little thing she does that is new, I cry over. I real smile not in her sleep? I cry. A little coo? I cry. I just love her so much!!! I hope she knows that and knows I will do anything for her. She's my world and I

wouldn't change it.

My little bug.

3 Weeks

My baby is 3 weeks today... On one hand it feels like there is no way it's already been 3 weeks! Then on the other it feels like she's been here so much longer! She's getting pretty good at sleeping through the night and only waking to be fed and changed. She's generally happy except when she's messy or hungry. She's such a sweet snuggle bug! I hope that as she gets older she will still like to snuggle with me. I absolutely love it!!!

How Charlie got here...

Well, Monday we went to L&D because I thought for sure she was coming. I had what I thought were horrible contractions. We got there and nothing more happened. I had my normal Tuesday appt where my Dr indicated that my induction was set for the following Wednesday :(

Wednesday I started having mild contractions in the morning, nothing too bad. I had been mildly spotting since Monday but it was pale pink. I w

as exhausted so I went to take a nap. I was woken up with some really REALLY bad contractions! I had one where I swear I felt my hips separate! I got up and told Taylor that I was hurting pretty bad. I went to the bathroom and noticed my spotting had turned to bleeding, still mild. Common I assumed with the contractions I was having. Taylor was running me a bath while I called the Dr just to make sure I didn't need to go in. The Dr on call said she wanted me to check back in in a few hours but to relax in the bath. I was standing in the bath tub getting ready to sit down, talking to Taylor in the hallway when suddenly whoosh! gush of blood came and was running down my legs. I looked at Taylor and just said "time to go!" He started panicking running trying to get everything ready. I just kept saying relax!! Everything is packed and ready to go! I was squatting in the tub rinsing off and kept telling him "see, it's not that bad." the

re was very little blood in the tub. He looked at me confused and said "look behind you." Oh! the tub was full of blood! lovely! We got in the car and headed to the U. I thought for sure I was going to die from the contractions!! We got there and got checked in to the L&D ER area, have to go there first to make sure we are actually in labor first. They checked me and said I was at a 4 and fully effaced. We weren't leaving without a baby! By this point I was dying! My contractions were hurting so badly!!! They got us admitted and got me my epidural. SOOOO ni

ce! I thought for sure i was going to freak out at the epidural and it was the easiest thing ever! After that I was watching the monitor and started having some very strong contractions. I was so glad I couldn't feel them anymore. The Dr on call came in a little bit later and broke my water and they started me on pitocin. After a while they weren't seeing the peaking of Charlie's heartbeat that they wanted to see. They put me on oxygen and had me roll on my side. They also connected a monitor straight to her head to keep a better track of her heart rate. The nurse hadn't left the room for 30 seconds when all of a sudden her heart rate dropped so low. So low that I knew the Dr would be in the room in a matter of seconds! Sure enough about 4 nurses/Dr were in the room very quickly. They did some stimulating of her scalp to see if that would make her perk up. It did a little but

the Dr wasn't satisfied. She informed us it was time for a C-section. I was so sad that we had to take this route. I wanted her here on her time now that we had begun. They started getting everything ready and threw Taylor some scrubs to wear. I was crying, frustrated and scared. It wasn't an emergency C-section but it was rushed. They wheeled me into the room and had to move me to the operating table which was weird.. never had a surgery before so feeling helpless was odd. The drugs had completely knocked out my body from the ribs down. I could feel a lot of pressure but no pain. I was shaking uncontrollably from the drugs. The anesthesiologist assured me it was normal and gave me something to stop the shaking. Finally the Dr said ok here we go and I suddenly felt this weird emptiness, like I was a balloon that had been deflated. She wasn't crying at first and I kept looking at Taylor asking what was going on!!! The anesthesiologist

assured me again that she was moving around and doing well just not crying yet. Once she let out a cry Taylor and I both started bawling! My life changed in that second. They brought her over so I could see her after they had cleaned her up a little bit. She was absolutely beautiful!!! I wanted to hold her right then but couldn't :( They took her and Taylor to the nursery while they got me put back together. It was the most uncomfortable 20 minutes or so of my life. Laying on my back not able to move having this weird feeling going on was awful! Finally they got me to my room again and brought her in. Again, Beautiful! Taylor and I got to be alone with her and get her fed. Jaime and my dad were both there so they came

in for a little bit and got to see her.

The pain from this C-section has been horrendous. Getting up to move hurt like hell! I was so glad the nurses where there to help with everything. Charlie stayed with me in the room pretty much all the time. She went to the nursery maybe a total of 6 hours in the 5 days we were there. I just couldn't put her down! Over the days we were there she lost a bit of weight but was able to gain enough back before we left that the pediatricians were happy with it.

I've never been so in love. She's absolutely amazing! I love you Charlie bug!!!

Just really quick... She's HERE!!!

Charlie is here!!! She was born by unexpected C-Section 2/16/11 10:46 PM 6lbs 7oz & 19.2 inches long! I am SO in love!!!!

Induction set

Well we were in L&D again Monday. I thought for sure she was coming. I counted contractions for 2 hours before I woke Taylor up at 6:30 and said we needed to go. I contracted the entire way there and wouldn't you know it, as soon as we get hooked up to the monitors... NOTHING! They checked and I was still at 1 cm but 60-70% effaced. I've been spotting since and in constant worsening pain.

At my appt today they said I'm still the same. I don't know how that's possible with the contractions I've been having. They gave me my induction date of the 23rd. 5 days past my due date :( I'm so not happy about that. I think/hope she comes before. This pain needs to be over.

I'm to the point where if someone says something dumb to me I'm going to snap!!! If one more person mentions having sex to get Charlie here I'm going to scream!!! I AM IN PAIN!! Let's scar my husband for life by me crying through sex from pain... cause that's worth it!!! good hell people... That and telling me to go running... Pain and running doesn't sound like fun to me! I nearly snapped at people at the hospital yesterday morning and today. Yesterday, while contracting, we had 2 people jump into the elevator as the doors were closing. I told Taylor when we got off that if one more person had jumped in I was gonna yell at them! Then today while trying to get off the elevator there was like 6 people trying to walk on! How about you let the people off before you trying getting in eh? Not to mention that I had to squeeze through them to get into the freaking hall.

I'm so frustrated that everything is really starting to piss me off. I've been holding back for so long I'm afraid I'm gonna SNAP!

Brookie's Baby

Brooke had her beautiful baby Saturday afternoon! After a long 34 hour delivery gorgeous Morgan Mae Patterson was born at 12:14 PM 7lbs 10oz and 19 inches long. Congratulations Brooke and Steve!!! I can't wait for Charlie to get here so they can be fast friends! :)